 |
| Man, political cartoons today aren't nearly as badass. |
Nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" quite like warfare, but if you've ever looked up the history of Saint Valentine, it's really not much of a stretch.
By now, you might be wondering just how the heck this whole thing started. The sad fact of the matter is I don't have nearly enough space to get into every nitty gritty detail; however, I can give the "Certified J-Rod Shorthand Version" (patent pending).
The War of 1812 doesn't feature one specific trigger-event like an assassination or an evil dictator running around (well, not a German one anyway), making it difficult for people to remember exactly what happened.
200 years ago, Great Britain and the brand-new United States weren't exactly BFFs. Despite the fact the Revolutionary War ended almost 30 years earlier, tensions remained (the United States wouldn't return Great Britain's CDs or that really nice sweater) and Europe's problems with France only served to complicate things further.
Everyone's favourite Corsican dictator was causing all kinds of havoc in Europe and forcing Britain to spend the majority of its attention and resources into stopping him. One of the major ways of doing so was blockading the French ports with the maaaaasive Royal Navy (bane of Captain Jack Sparrow) and seizing any ships trying to slip past. This really affected the U.S., who had in essence just lost their biggest trading partner. Not only that, but the British were stopping hundreds of neutral U.S. merchant ships and "impressing" (not in the 'oooh, shiny!' kind of way) American sailors. Their excuse was rock-solid: these sailors were all "deserters" from that Revolutionary Incident a few years ago and were British subjects anyway.
Yeah, the States didn't exactly agree.
At the same time, in 1811, the Americans expanding westward as far as Michigan were having trouble with the Native Americans. Conflict was inevitable; the Americans accused Great Britain of supplying arms and goods to incite the Natives into open rebellion. Britain denied this as well, but by now a group in American Congress known as the "War Hawks" managed to convince President James Madison that war was the only way to prove this young and fledgling nation wasn't to be pushed around. Kind of like picking a fight on your first day of school. Or prison.
He was reluctant, but convinced that by attacking Britain's colonies (that's us), Britain could be convinced to stand down.
He was wrong.
On June 18, 1812, after the closest vote on the subject in U.S. history, America declared war on Great Britain.
It was on, as they say, like Donkey Kong.
-J-
