Raiders of the Lost Floor

Fort Mississauga, located smack-dab in the middle of North America's oldest golf course.
I guess you could say it was there beFORE. *crickets*

Last summer, I was incredibly lucky to get a chance to swap my shako, bayonet and musket for a fedora, whip and revolver in my archaeological quest to seek the Forgotten Floor of Fort Mississauga!

Fort Mississauga was started in 1814, after Fort George had been all but completely destroyed by the Americans. The British realized that rebuilding it might lead to the same fate befalling it a second time, so they got smart and decided to fortify the mouth of the Niagara River. This would eventually become Fort Mississauga. The stone structure you see above is the only remaining building, used as a barracks in the fifty years between the War of 1812's conclusion and the British leaving in the 1870s.

As you can imagine, maintaining that kind of historical structure is no easy feat. In order to assess the stability of the building, Parks Canada first needed to ensure that no construction would destroy any of the original interior.

This is where I swung in to save the day.*

Working with official Parks Canada archaeologists, we needed to dig through the brick floor that had been laid down in the 1970s to see what was underneath. After breaking through the dirt and dust, we made some pretty awesome discoveries.

The second test-pit, which shows what is
believed to be an original wall

We had two test-pits to dig in two separate rooms. Mine and my co-worker Anne's started fairly uneventful (no snakes or Nazis lurking about) while the second test-pit almost immediately got results (see pic): one of the walls from the original powder magazine (there would have been some kind of door, hence the wall's short length).

Now I was determined to find something interesting before I left that day.

After several more hours of digging and sifting (which meant lugging two full buckets of dirt up and down two flights of stairs -- funny, they never show Indiana Jones doing that), we started to make some progress.

Our first find was a small group of nails, used presumably in the original floorboards. Neat, but not groundbreaking (no pun intended).

However, soon after we struck gold (sadly, not literally): a piece of canister shot, used in cannons (think a metal tin full of golf-ball sized projectiles). That seems to support the theory that the building's basement was used as a munitions and powder store.

A piece of canister shot

A piece of china

Our final big find of the day was especially neat to us at Fort George. We dug up a piece of china from some kind of plate or bowl. Of particular interest was the colour around its edge: green tint. This matched the design and colour of original china found at Fort George back in a 1970s archaeological dig. Obviously they weren't from the same set, but the green colour seems to indicate that the pattern was quite popular with the officers that could afford them.

All in all, not a bad day for my first foray into the world of Dr. Jones. It's days like this that make my job extra special -- it's one thing to talk about history all day long, but getting a chance to actually dig it up is amazing.

-J-

Memoirs of a Gate Shift

This is simply how I redirect people to pay before getting in.
Oh, the blue coat?  Pfft, American? Please -- Royal Artillery

Now, you may or may not be aware of this, but I freakin' love my job. Shocker, right?

However, as in any job, there are one or two parts that you just don't share the same enthusiasm for. In my case, it's gate shifts.

It's pretty much exactly as it sounds -- you stand at the front gate (shown above) for up to an hour and let people in when they've paid. Don't get me wrong, it's not difficult; it's just not as thrilling as actually interpreting the history in one of the buildings.

On occasion, you'll get the couple that wants to talk in depth about a topic (awesome), but when you're on gate duty, this means frequent interruptions to let people in and show them where to go (not as awesome).

And the pictures -- oh dear lord, the pictures.

Turns out, when you dress in period uniform, it makes a great photo op (I can Google Image search myself in up to 20 different countries now).

Since my FAQ post proved very popular, I've decided to make another list -- this time, it's the top six cases of mistaken identity of me at the front gate:

6. An American
- When I'm wearing blue as above, fair enough; but when I'm in the red? C'mon.

5. A real Canadian soldier
- Hey, we'll get camouflage eventually!

4. A Mountie
- Close, but I'm not allowed to arrest people. Anymore.

3. A border guard
- Seriously, how do you people not realize you've crossed the border?

2. A mannequin
- Standing perfectly still under the hot sun is worth scaring the hell out of people.

1. A clown
- I wish I was joking. If clowns are bringing bayonets to your parties, it's already too late for you.

That's all for now, folks!

-J-

"Are you much hurt, sir?"

That handsome devil up there is performing one of the best parts of a Fort George visit: the musket demonstration.

The Short Land Pattern Tower Flintlock Smooth Bore Muzzle Loading Musket, or "Brown Bess" for short (the acronym SLPTFSBMLM never took off, for some reason), was the primary weapon of the British Army for almost 150 years. The AK-47 of its generation, if you will.

My favourite part of that video happens to be the guy either filming or close enough to be heard saying, "It's not as loud as a .50 cal[iber]." Well, bro, I'm not firing a live round, but that's still interesting considering I did mention musket is .75 caliber.

That's why Call of Duty doesn't have muskets. Kids these days are so hard to please.

Hollywood has done us a great disservice when it comes to portraying our time period. It's not "cool" or "fast-paced" enough to show Mel Gibson reloading his musket; nah, they just give him more. That's right -- to Hollywood, it's more practical for a man to carry multiple 10-pound guns than to reload one. (That entire scene -- nay, film -- makes me cringe.)

In my video, I'm not even trying to speed load -- I don't have the benefit of an enemy army shooting back at me -- and I can still reload in just under 20 seconds (my fastest personal best is 11). The standard for the British Army was 15 seconds.

Hollywood also glosses over the absolutely deplorable reliability of these things (unless it's for dramatic tension). See, these weapons misfired about 30% of the time. If it was raining, windy, humid, snowy, or just plain lazy, the weapon wouldn't fire thanks to its spark-dependent, flintlock mechanism. But it's more dramatic if Mel Gibson fires at the enemy in a torrential downpour, when in reality it would be one giant 'click'-fest.

But wait! Your damsel in distress is being held hostage by some nefarious ne'er-do-well!? Not a problem! That trusty Bess can easily fire across the battlefield and safely lodge the ball right between his eyes! Wait, what's that? These things could only fire accurately to about 50-75 yards?

Sorry, Mel. The good news is you'd put a hole clean through both of them, though. Huzzah!

-J-

A Very Brilliant Affair

"Gee, that puzzle was tough."
"Shut up."

First things first: GO CANADA!

Seems rather fitting to update during a time where Canada once again claims victory over the United States; both our men and women's hockey teams have done a fantastic job of representing our country.

Although hockey wasn't around 200 years ago (sadly) and the conflict was much bloodier, the result was largely the same -- of course, the British helped things immensely.

The Americans even released a video addressed to Team Canada, basically saying "bring it on."

We did.

It's not the first time Americans have underestimated us and it sure won't be the last.

Now, I'm not about to go on some kind of anti-American diatribe because that's terribly un-Canadian. I do understand not every single American tourist is this naive, but in my five years at Fort George, I have come across some real gems with tragically hilarious and skewed views of our true north strong and free.

So for our friends south of the border, here are some FAQs I've actually been asked before, in order to help you out:

Q: Are you [Canada] independent yet?
A: Why yes we are; depending on how you look at it, we're either younger or older than you, sir/ma'am.

Q: When was the fight for your freedom?
A: Sorry to disappoint, but not every British colony needed to punch its way to freedom. We just asked nicely. 

Q: Do you have to bow to the Queen every morning?
A: We started to, but it turns out she really hates it. And can't see it.

Q: Do I need my passport to get into Canada?
A: Wait, seriously? You're already at Fort George and you're asking this? Wow.

Q: Do y'all consider yourselves Americans? Since we're in North America?
A: I consider myself more of a Northern Hemispherian, to be honest.

I hope this helps in your travels and I look forward to answering more of your....um, questions this summer!

-J-

A Mere Matter of Marching

Man, political cartoons today aren't nearly as badass.

Nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" quite like warfare, but if you've ever looked up the history of Saint Valentine, it's really not much of a stretch.

By now, you might be wondering just how the heck this whole thing started. The sad fact of the matter is I don't have nearly enough space to get into every nitty gritty detail; however, I can give the "Certified J-Rod Shorthand Version" (patent pending).

The War of 1812 doesn't feature one specific trigger-event like an assassination or an evil dictator running around (well, not a German one anyway), making it difficult for people to remember exactly what happened.

200 years ago, Great Britain and the brand-new United States weren't exactly BFFs. Despite the fact the Revolutionary War ended almost 30 years earlier, tensions remained (the United States wouldn't return Great Britain's CDs or that really nice sweater) and Europe's problems with France only served to complicate things further.

Everyone's favourite Corsican dictator was causing all kinds of havoc in Europe and forcing Britain to spend the majority of its attention and resources into stopping him. One of the major ways of doing so was blockading the French ports with the maaaaasive Royal Navy (bane of Captain Jack Sparrow) and seizing any ships trying to slip past. This really affected the U.S., who had in essence just lost their biggest trading partner. Not only that, but the British were stopping hundreds of neutral U.S. merchant ships and "impressing" (not in the 'oooh, shiny!' kind of way) American sailors. Their excuse was rock-solid: these sailors were all "deserters" from that Revolutionary Incident a few years ago and were British subjects anyway.

Yeah, the States didn't exactly agree.

At the same time, in 1811, the Americans expanding westward as far as Michigan were having trouble with the Native Americans. Conflict was inevitable; the Americans accused Great Britain of supplying arms and goods to incite the Natives into open rebellion. Britain denied this as well, but by now a group in American Congress known as the "War Hawks" managed to convince President James Madison that war was the only way to prove this young and fledgling nation wasn't to be pushed around. Kind of like picking a fight on your first day of school. Or prison.

He was reluctant, but convinced that by attacking Britain's colonies (that's us), Britain could be convinced to stand down.

He was wrong.

On June 18, 1812, after the closest vote on the subject in U.S. history, America declared war on Great Britain.

It was on, as they say, like Donkey Kong.

-J-

And All Their Glory Past

Ask anybody what they know about the War of 1812 and you're likely to get as many confused faces as you are diverse answers. It really depends on who you ask.

For example, Canadians (especially in the Niagara region) have the best passive knowledge, because of how close the war hit to home; however, even that number is staggeringly low. We might think of Laura Secord and her "300-kilometer journey barefoot, dodging American patrols and leading her trusty cow to warn the British." (Actually, her contribution to the war has been grossly over-exaggerated, but more on her later). Perhaps they'd think of Brock's Monument up at Queenston Heights, or "wasn't there some kind of fight near Lundy's Lane?" (Yup, the bloodiest battle of the war.) Canadians also tend to believe the British won the war, as we're an independent country and not the 51st state today.

Americans, on the other hand, tend to take a slightly different view. Those that know of the war, felt it didn't have any significance, which is their way of narrowly admitting defeat. While the Revolutionary and Civil wars get chapter upon chapter in American history textbook, 1812 is lucky to receive more than a paragraph. If it does, it mentions one of three events: the American victory on Lake Erie, the Siege of Fort McHenry in Baltimore (which gave them their national anthem), or the Battle of New Orleans, tragically remembered best in Johnny Horton's wildly exaggerated song. Oh and many of them think they won (when logic and explanation of historical fact fail to persuade an American visitor to the fort about this, I flash this beauty: "Why hasn't Hollywood made a movie about it?").

Ask the British about the War of 1812 and the most common response you'll get: "The war of what?" Dealing with Napoleon at the time, what happened in the Canadian colonies was merely an unnecessary pain the the backside that Britain could ill-afford to commit resources to.

As I've mentioned previously, when I started at Fort George I knew almost nothing about this conflict. I'm grateful that ignorance is gone.

Quiz time! What do you know about the War of 1812? Let me know in the comments.

Next week: How this whole conflict started, including why Thomas Jefferson thought the acquisition of Canada would be "a mere matter of marching."

-J-

Where Right and Glory Lead

Story time, kids! Grab a seat.

I started at Fort George in 2009. I got an email from the government that I honestly thought was spam at first; turns out, it would be the one to quite definitively change my life. It wondered if I was interested in joining Fort George's "Military Animation Squad", which meant dressing up in two-ply wool, performing firepower demonstrations for the public and engaging in "authentic and period military behaviour."

To quote the great Wayne Campbell: "Schwing!"

I landed an interview and as I entered the fort, I realized I'd only been there at night on a ghost tour (more on those later). Seeing it in the day was quite a treat. I'd done a bit of homework and research, but I'll admit: my knowledge on the War of 1812 on that spring morning was equivalent to the next person -- which is to say, next to nothing.

I entered the blockhouse and sat down; halfway through my interview, one interviewer (and my future boss) Peter pulled a Brown Bess musket out from under the table the three interviewers were sitting at.

Now normally, if someone pulls a gun out during an interview, chances are it's not going that well.  In this case, my strength and endurance were tested as I needed to be able to hold and point the thing (it weighs 11 lbs). Luckily, my experience as a part-time bodybuilder* gave me the upper-body strength needed to succeed. A few weeks later, I got the phone call that began this epic insanity.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

The 2009 41st Reg't of Foot Grenadier Company

Who's that handsome devil? No, the other one. No, not him, HIM. Ugh, never mind.

(*Author may not have been a bodybuilder)

-J-